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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24103678">Lost I Love Yous</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletTeaTime/pseuds/VioletTeaTime'>VioletTeaTime</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Flash (TV 2014), The Flash - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5+1 Things, Bisexual Cisco Ramon, Deaf Hartley Rathaway, Good Hartley Rathaway, Iris West is a matchmaker, M/M, Miscommunication, but its 3+1, hartley's superhearing gave him tinnitus and apd, we love iris west in this household</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:21:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,074</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24103678</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletTeaTime/pseuds/VioletTeaTime</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The three times Hartley didn't hear Cisco's confession, and the one time he did.<br/>-<br/>the beginning of trust, admiration, and something more</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cisco Ramon/Hartley Rathaway</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>79</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Lost I Love Yous</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello!!! i just want to say a few things!!<br/>i'm not caught up on the flash! im edging towards the end of season three, but i guess this isnt super canon compliant<br/>i kinda hc hartley as having auditory processing disorder due to how much he hears (in that he has difficulty understanding words, typically speech, in some environments)<br/>i know so very little about engineering so,,, the sciencey stuff is just like... from documentaries ive seen or what i read on wikipedia and thought could work<br/>read on, babey!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>1.</strong>
</p><p> Working with Hartley again was much easier than Cisco would have thought it would be. The guy was still a total dick, that wasn't debatable, but he now used his dick-ish personality in ways that could be funny. Cisco figured that Hartley being an asshole was a direct result of EoWells in some way, and with him no longer being around, Hartley was much more enjoyable to spend time with.</p><p>He was helpful, too. Quick thinking, able to help Barry when he was on a run and didn't know what to do, or when Caitlin was working on something bio-chemistry related that Cisco didn't understand, he was right there beside her, digging deep. Hartley and Cisco had even begun a few smaller projects together, working on making Hartley hearing aids that could properly filter out background noise, or tinkering on one of Cisco's many abandoned robots from his early STAR Labs days. </p><p>On this particular day, Hartley had his hands all over the Vibe goggles, fingerprints smudging the inside of them as he loosened the rim. Music played softly in the background, hooked up to Cisco's Spotify, giving the lab a strange ambiance of k-pop and indie music. Cisco hummed along, swaying his hips as he installed a recent development of his, a reverse actuator to the palm of Hartley's newest gloves.</p><p>"So, Cisquito, remind me again <em>why</em> you had to get your hands all over my work." Hartley's voice came out flat, his face shoved close to a magnifier, squinting deeply into it.</p><p>"I could say the same thing about my goggles, buddy." Cisco pointed a screwdriver at him, shame burning in his ears when he realized Hartley couldn't see him. </p><p>"Because I know what I'm doing. If we put an ammeter in your goggles, we can register how strong your currents are, and we can see your improvement. It'll also help us monitor them so we know if they're getting weaker and you're going to get lightheaded or a nosebleed or any of the other countless excuses you can make up." His voice was softer than expected, almost playful in tone, making Cisco grin. </p><p>"Aw, Hart, you care about me?" </p><p>"You wish." A chuckle escaped from his chest, and he looked up at Cisco, a toothy grin on his face. Cisco was sure that, even from here, Hartley could hear his heart pounding in his chest.</p><p>"I do wish, oh to be loved by Hartley Rathaway." Cisco dramatically put his arm up to his forehead, and Hartley shook his head.</p><p>"You're ridiculous."</p><p>"No, you." Hartley laughed at that one, deep and full bodied, ringing in Cisco's ears. He wanted nothing more than to hear that more often. Suddenly, Hartley cringed, left hand flying up to his ear. Cisco took a step towards him, worry filling him as the man's face contorted. Hartley gestured towards one of the worktables they hadn't been using, the small box with his deafeners sitting on top of some paperwork. Cisco quickly slid his shoes off, knowing that each loud step would be excruciating to the other man, and quickly made his way to the silver case. He pulled out the small aid, waiting patiently next to Hartley as he pulled out their newest prototype. A shiver went though his body as it disconnected, and Cisco's heart felt heavy in his chest as Hartley let out a small whimper as he was exposed to all the sounds around him. Cisco quickly exchanged aids with him, noticing the instant relief on Hartley's face as he plugged his left ear. </p><p>"Sorry." He looked down at the floor, and it took everything in Cisco not to hug him. Instead, he settled for clapping him on the shoulder. </p><p>"No, that's on me. I should work on these some more, what was the problem?"</p><p>"I think the amplifier tried to identify the music you're playing at the air conditioning unit as voices and that all came screaming in at once." Hartley shrugged, as if his very real pain was nothing, and Cisco sighed, rolling the aid in his hand. </p><p>"And the one that's connected to you like a cyborg is fine?" Hartley let out a giggle, leaning back on the desk behind him.</p><p>"Yes, the cochlear one is good," He turned his head slightly, letting Cisco see the implant connected to the system Cisco had worked on a few weeks ago, "I just want to test it next time I'm out as Piper to make sure it can handle whatever you're doing to my gauntlets." Cisco scoffed, starting to move back to his work once again.</p><p>"Gauntlets, you're so pretentious. Call them gloves."</p><p>"You call a pair of fancy sunglasses goggles, Cisquito." Cisco laughed, watching as Hartley turned back to his work.</p><p>"Y'know, I'm really glad you're here." </p><p>Cisco wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed by the lack of an answer.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>2.</strong>
</p><p>Vibe and the Pied Piper very rarely hit the streets together these days. Yes, Pied Piper had basically been domesticated by the STAR Labs team, but he found that fighting crime was a lot less fun than committing it. Barry, however, had left town with the Wests on a much needed vacation to Star City, and that left Hartley and Cisco in charge of keeping Central safe. That proved to be a lot harder than either of them had thought.</p><p>One minute they were at the lab, tinkering on a robot that was meant to bring them coffees from the recently installed Keurig, the next Caitlin was screaming at them to get up to the cortex, because someone was attacking downtown. That someone happened to be a very angry metahuman with the ability to move air particles at crazy speeds, so of course she was using her powers to break into shit. Because every metahuman seemed to be a shit disturber. </p><p>It had been an easy enough take down, with Hartley distracting her while Cisco moved, creating breaches until he was close enough to cuff the girl and get her down. With the hustle of everything, Cisco hadn't realized that he couldn't find Hartley within the crowd of cops. He moved towards one of the cops, a young man who Joe had taken a liking to.</p><p>"Have you seen the Piper?" He tried to make his voice sound more gruff, less like himself. He really should get a mask. The guy pointed to the backdoor of the jewelry store.</p><p>"Uh, he slipped out a couple minutes ago." Cisco nodded, walking towards the door. He poked his head out, finding Hartley on the ground leaning against the building, hood pulled far over his face as he looked down, both hands clasped tightly around his ankle. Cisco cleared his throat, and Hartley's eyes met his. </p><p>"Hey, you good?" Cisco shut the door behind him before moving to kneel by Hartley. The man's face was red and ruddy, pain clear.</p><p>"No, my ankle is dislocated. Or broken." He hissed, and Cisco nodded at him before pressing down his comm to ask Caitlin to get prepared to have a patient. Cisco gently wrapped an arm below Hartley's knees and one around his thin waist.</p><p>"Hart, you're going to have to hold on." He nodded, hugging around Cisco's torso, his head bent to rest just on top of Cisco's heart. Cisco struggled to find his footing as he carried the older man towards a breach.</p><p>-</p><p>Cisco was going to wear a path in the concrete with his pacing. Caitlin had pushed him out of the room once Hartley was placed on the bed, Cisco pulling away from him with blood covering the forearm that had been closer to Hartley's legs. Iris had brought him a coffee that had long since gone cold on his desk, and Barry had tried to distract hum, but Cisco couldn't help feeling worried. Feeling guilty.</p><p>It was almost two hours before Caitlin allowed Cisco to go in the room after Iris berated her,  Caitlin telling him that Hartley had broken his leg as well as tearing his peroneal tendon. Cisco had nodded, almost ignoring her words, desperate to see Hartley.</p><p>Cisco wasn't quite sure what had been happening between them lately. When Hartley had come back to the lab, they were little more than begrudging co-workers, but now... Cisco didn't know. They went out together pretty often, and Hartley spent a lot of his friday nights asleep on Cisco's couch after a movie marathon. Cisco had gone with Hartley when he wanted to adopt a rat, and Hartley had joined him at Central City Comic Con. They were friends, yes, but it felt different than any friendship Cisco had before. </p><p>Hartley smiled as Cisco walked into the room, a big and dopey thing crossing his features. Cisco wanted to laugh at the clearly loopy man, but the intense wrapping on his ankle, heart monitor and iv drip scared him too much to feel comfortable to laugh at it. Cisco crossed over to the heart monitor and shut the beeping off, knowing that Hartley would appreciate it once he was all there. </p><p>"Cisco!" Hartley's head rolled to the side to look at Cisco as he sat down on the edge of the bed. Cisco smiled, reaching up to brush a loose curl from Hartley's forehead.</p><p>"How are you feeling, Hart?" The brunette yawned.</p><p>"Good. Caitlin has me good stuff," Hartley reached towards Cisco, and with a huff, he shuffled down. "You're good too, Cisco. So good." Cisco laughed and gently took Hartley's hand in his. Hartley giggled and swung their hands slightly.</p><p>"Thanks, Hartley. I think you're good, too." Hartley nodded, sleepy. With his empty hand, Cisco took the tortoiseshell glasses off Hartley's nose. "You should sleep, hermosa." Hartley shook his head, but seemed to be nodding off. Cisco rubbed his thumb over Hartley's knuckles, silence enveloping them. It wasn't until he was sure Hartley that was asleep that Cisco stood up, placing Hartley's hand on his chest.</p><p>"You scared me, cariño. I'm glad you're okay."</p><p>
  <strong>3.</strong>
</p><p>Movie Fridays with Hartley had quickly become Cisco's favourite part of the week. Caitlin, Julian, HR, and the Wests often stayed at the lab in case Barry had to kick some meta-human ass, wanting to give Cisco and Hartley the night off. Cisco guessed that Iris knew that there was something growing between the two of them, and that's why she convinced literally everybody else to let them go home, but she would never admit to being a matchmaker. </p><p>They had a ritual of sorts. Hartley went back to his place to feed his rat and grab a pair of pyjamas (as Cisco had a strict comfortable clothes rule while watching movies), and Cisco chose what they were going to get for dinner, usually from the Chinese restaurant near Hartley's place or the pizza joint closer to Cisco's, and he would pick it up on the way earlier. They then would argue about what movie to watch, and would only stop when one of them pointed out that the food was getting cold, and then they would curl up together on Cisco's couch. </p><p>It had been going pretty smoothly so far. Cisco had called the Chinese place, the lady recognized the number at this point and they spoke for a few minutes before she recited their usual order and he laughed, saying that was perfect. Hartley had arrived already wearing a Doctor Who tee shirt and sweatpants, his hair still slightly damp from his shower, but a big smile on his face, a large bag of food tucked under his arm.</p><p>-</p><p>"Okay, I'll compromise - Solo." Hartley raised his eyebrows, flicking the remote at the TV. </p><p>"Cisquito, we both know that's a terrible movie."</p><p>"See, that's where you're wrong." Cisco took a large bite out of his eggroll, and Hartley sighed.</p><p>"How about we watch West Side Story?" Hartley hovered over the movie on the screen. </p><p>"Really? And here I thought Barry was the only musical fan." A devilish smile crossed Hartley's face.</p><p>"I love musicals. Cisco, I'm gay. It's a right of passage." Cisco laughed and nodded at him, taking the container of lo mein off the table.</p><p>"Okay." They conversation ceased as they ate, but once they had finished, it was like all hell broke out. Hartley, it turned out, was a surprisingly good singer, and Cisco tried to stumble along with him, reading the subtitles of lyrics. By the time they got to Tonight, Cisco was wrapped in Hartley's arms, laughing as he tried to sing Maria's soprano notes in his horrible falsetto. </p><p>They had followed their position even after the movie ended, Hartley switching the tv over to How I Met Your Mother, a show that Cisco had been forcing him to watch. Hartley's hand gently rubbed Cisco's lower back, almost absentmindedly, and Cisco resisted the urge to purr or cuddle more into Hartley. Instead, he settled for talking.</p><p>"I think I have a crush on you." He barely whispered the words into Hartley's chest, and the older man looked down at him.</p><p>"Hm? What did you say?" Hartley met Cisco's eyes.</p><p>"Um, I said that I'm afraid I'm crushing you." Hartley laughed and shook his head, going back to rubbing Cisco's back.</p><p>"You could never, Cisquito. And I wouldn't complain if you were."</p><p>
  <strong>+ 1.</strong>
</p><p>Though Hartley denied being an avid Christmas fan, Cisco was able to see the joy in his eyes as he walked into the West household for their annual Christmas/Hanukkah party. Cisco hung his coat up, taking Hartley's after the man stopped looking around the room. Cisco straightened out his Christmas sweater, a picture of Pikachu with a scarf on it, which he had been embarrassed of when he picked Hartley up, until he realized that the other's sweater had Sonic on it. </p><p>Iris came to greet them, slightly tipsy, carrying a big mug of Grandma Esther's eggnog in each hand for them. They each took it before finding a spot to settle in together on the couch, stuffed between Joe and Julian, the blond man already messily drunk, despite it only being ten. Barry stood by the window, lighting a candle on the menorah, H.R. beside him as he explained the story of Hanukkah. </p><p>Hartley sputtered when he took a drink of eggnog, and Joe laughed, leaning over to pat him on the back. Cisco took the mug out of his hand as Hartley regained his breath.</p><p>"Strong, huh?" Hartley nodded, face red, and Joe took a long, slow drink from his own.</p><p>"You get used to it, kid." Hartley laughed, taking his mug back from Cisco. He looked so happy like this, surrounded by Team Flash.</p><p>When Hartley had come back to STAR, he had been timid at times. He didn't try to connect with anyone, similarly to the way he was before, but one way or another, they had all gotten through to him. Barry and him ended up playing a lot of chess together, Julian and him were both Game of Thrones fans and discussed theories. Caitlin and him had known each other enough before the particle accelerator that he had apologized to her when she helped him with his cochlear when it was bugging him, and the West family seemed to be unable to not get along with someone. Cisco knew that Hartley had opened up to Joe about his parents, and that he was basically Joe's fourth kid after that discussion.</p><p>Hartley just seemed so much more vibrant than Cisco had ever known he could be, especially after working with him at STAR before all of the metahuman shit had hit the fan. Cisco smiled as Hartley's head hit his shoulder.</p><p>"Hey."</p><p>"Hey." Hartley looked up at him, and Cisco smiled, throwing his arm over the other's shoulders. He stoked Hartley's arm as drunk karaoke begun, which was essentially just Caitlin stumbling around, barely muttering words into the microphone as Wally and Julian cheered her on. Iris leaned over the back of the couch, placing her head just between Cisco and Hartley's. </p><p>"There's food in the dining room. I made those cookies you like, Cisco, and I made sure we got some vegetarian food, Hart. Help yourselves." Hartley stood up quickly, placing his mug on the only empty coaster on the table before turning to pull Cisco up as well.</p><p>"If I have to hear Caitlin squawk for another song I'm going to lose my mind." Hartley whispered into his ear as they stood up, their bodies far too close together. Cisco giggled, stepping back.</p><p>"Barry will wrestle that mic away from her soon. Let's get something to snack on." Hartley let Cisco lead him to the dining room, despite it being in perfectly clear view, but just before they made it to the table, Iris let out a loud whoop from the other side of the room. They froze where they stood as eyes turned towards them. Giggling into the microphone, Caitlin pointed above them, where mistletoe was hung from the door frame. Hartley looked down at him, nibbling the skin on his lower lip.</p><p>"Uh..."</p><p>"Fuck it." Cisco placed his hand on the back of Hartley's neck and pulled him in for a gentle kiss. It was short, sweet, and a little bit awkward, but when he pulled away, Hartley had a soft look on his face. He blinked a few times before pulling Cisco towards the kitchen, away from the busy sounds of the party. He wrung his hands out, looking down at his feet. </p><p>"Cisco, I..." He trailed off, still not able to meet Cisco's eyes.</p><p>"Hart. Look at me?" The other man nervously met his gaze. "I feel something between us. I know it's there, something big. Something good. And I want to try it." Cisco tried to keep his voice steady, but every part of him wanted to crawl away. Hartley seemed to take a minute to register what he said, his lips beginning to form a word and then dropping it every few seconds.</p><p>"You want...me?" He sounded scared, almost disbelieving. Cisco nodded, reaching toward to hold Hartley's elbows, hoping it was a reassuring touch.</p><p>"Yes." Hartley bit his lip again, indenting the chapped skin. </p><p>"Can I kiss you?" </p><p>"Be my guest." They were too busy with each other to notice Iris around the corner with a sly grin. That was the best Christmas gift she would ever give.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading!! if you liked it, please drop a kudo below, and comment something at me, even if it's just you screaming!!<br/>you can find me on my tumblr, @violetteatime !!<br/></p></blockquote></div></div>
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